


The Axe Fic™

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, crack!fic, feat. Axe, feat. M-dawg, gonna go kms, i am so ashamed, my friend wrote the end, what the fuck is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9876449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Fun times with Dun and Jo-Hoefeat. Axe Body Spray™





	

Josh wasn’t sure why he had come to this party. His friend Brendon had promised alcohol, loud music, and lots of fun… and he was wrong. It was a small party, Brendon hadn’t even shown up yet, and the music was from the top 40 in 2001. To top it all off, the only alcohol available was vodka, which Josh steered clear of, and Miller Lite, which Josh hated. 

The only redeeming part of the party so far was the brown haired boy running around. Josh had pulled aside a giggling girl who was on her way to the kitchen and asked his name, and found that it was Tyler. Josh had never met Tyler, but he found that he really wanted to. Especially when Tyler stumbled into the room Josh was occupying, complained loudly that it was too hot, and pulled the blazer he had been wearing off. Of course, the dumb shirt Tyler was wearing was still there, but it was white and unbuttoned and showed off his tan torso so well that Josh had to tear his eyes away and ignore the fact that he suddenly wanted to drag Tyler somewhere and do very very bad things to him.

Josh decided to grab a Miller Lite after all.

To his chagrin, however, Tyler followed him into the kitchen and began looking through the cupboards as Josh searched through the fridge.

“I never really liked alcohol,” Tyler commented as he searched for whatever it was he was looking for. Josh looked over at him in surprise, checking the kitchen to see if Tyler could possibly have been talking to someone else. The kitchen was empty.

“Yeah, I don’t really like it either, but I’m really bored, so…” Josh began to explain, scratching the back of his neck. He looked at the bottle he had procured and then put it back in the fridge, shrugging. 

“It’s a party,” Tyler laughed, pulling an aerosol can of Axe body spray from a cupboard above the counter, “you’re supposed to be having fun.” And with that, Tyler began to spray the can around himself as he left the room, screaming, “DO I SMELL HOT YET?” Josh just watched him leave, shook his head in disbelief, and headed towards the front door of the house hoping to find Brendon. 

As Josh moved from room to room, he looked around at the people and tried to locate his taller friend. As he looked, he became distracted and did not watch where he was going, causing him to collide with someone. Tyler. Who had been backing up while still spraying the can of Axe and yelling. Both of them froze, Josh rubbing his nose slightly and laughing, and Tyler looking over his shoulder thoughtfully. As Josh went to move away, Tyler gasped and grabbed him from behind.

“Don’t move! I smell hot now!” Tyler cried, holding Josh in place. Josh just shrugged, looking at him and smiling. “Hmm,” Tyler hummed, bending down slightly and motioning for Josh to jump on his back. “Are you ready to leave?”

Josh jumped on Tyler’s back and clasped his arms around Tyler’s neck before replying, “Absolutely.”

“My place,” Tyler said, more telling than asking, although he did look back at Josh with a question in his eyes. Josh just nodded and then rested his head on the back of Tyler’s neck, smiling happily.

It was a Friday night, so there were plenty of people out and about. Tyler had put his blazer back on but it was cold, so he pulled Josh closer and picked up his pace, walking back to his apartment.

“You’re really cute,” Tyler told Josh, pausing at the crosswalk at a red light. Josh nuzzled Tyler’s neck, placing a small kiss on the exposed skin there. “If this is just a one time thing I won’t regret it at all.”

“It doesn’t have to be a one time thing,” Josh told him as Tyler began to walk again, bouncing down off the curb and hiking Josh up as he began to slip. Josh went back to kissing Tyler’s neck, causing the other boy to laugh and pause on the sidewalk.

“People are staring at us!” he whisper-yelled at Josh. Josh just laughed, leaning forward to whisper in Tyler’s ear.

“Let them stare. They have no idea I’m about to fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow.” Tyler didn’t answer, but Josh could see the blush creeping up his neck.

Tyler also began to walk faster.

Finally, the two of them arrived in front of a small apartment building. Tyler gently let Josh down and then pulled his key out of his pocket. Opening the door, he ushered Josh into the small lobby.

“Okay, now wait here for a minute. When I get up to the top of those stairs,” Tyler gestured at the staircase ahead of them, “you can start following me. Don’t get too far behind.” Tyler winked and then raced up the stairs, dropping his blazer on his way up and kicking his shoes off at the top of the staircase. Josh began to follow him, chuckling as he heard Tyler running. Josh threw the blazer over his shoulder and scooped up the shoes, peering down the hallway. Tyler was nowhere to be seen, but his pants were crumpled in a ball halfway down the hall. After a few more turns and a pair of boxers added to the stack of clothes, Josh turned the last corner and saw a flash of a white shirt and then a door closed at the end of the hall.

Josh grinned, walking down the hall with all of the clothes in his arms. Just as he got to Tyler’s door, the door next to Tyler’s opened and a tall guy poked his head out with a suspicious look on his face.

“Who the hell are you?” the man demanded, glaring at Josh and folding his arms. “Are you harassing Tyler?” Josh began to try and explain, the words fumbling. He realized that the whole thing looked very suspicious, but luckily Tyler heard what was going on.

“Leave him alone, Dallon, he’s with me!” Tyler called through the door. The tall guy - Dallon - glared at Josh for a few seconds more before going back into his apartment and shutting the door. “Hurry up, hottie!”  

Josh nudged the door to Tyler’s apartment open. It was a studio apartment, with the kitchen at the far end of the room and a small bathroom closed off. There was a large, disheveled bed straight across from the door, and Tyler was in front of the closet to the right of the door. He had wrapped himself in a blanket - presumably from the bed, Josh figured - and was throwing a few errant articles of clothing in the closet. The walls of the apartment were vivid blues, greens, and purples, but the wall by the bed was unpainted and the original color of the room - pale pink.

“I love your walls… were they pink?” Josh asked, looking around the room. Tyler stood unsteadily, holding the blanket up and nodding. “That’s cool, so were mine at my parent’s house. My older brother took the room with the blue walls.” Tyler stepped up next to him as Josh spoke, resting his head on Josh’s shoulder.

“I think you’re stalling,” Tyler whispered, tugging at the hem of Josh’s shirt. “And you’re wearing too many clothes.” Josh turned to Tyler as he finished speaking, picking up Tyler bridal style and laying him gently on the bed before standing back up next to the bed and slipping his shirt off. Carefully pulling the blanket away from Tyler, Josh kissed him and crawled onto the bed, hovering over Tyler as they kissed passionately.

Tyler wasted little time in undoing Josh’s belt buckle and shoving his jeans down, but they paused for a second to let Josh kick his pants the rest of the way off and onto the floor of the apartment. They went back to kissing quickly, hands roaming and gliding over smooth skin and soft planes of each other’s bodies.

Their sudden romance was only interrupted by a knock on the door, causing both of them to roll towards the window. Josh ended up flat on top of Tyler and they both giggled, looking at the door as it opened slightly.

“Use condoms!” Dallon yelled in at them, throwing a handful of them into the room and then closing the door again. Tyler pushed Josh off gently, padding naked over to the door and locking it before gathering the small packets and walking back over to the bed. Josh wolf-whistled at him as he walked away, causing Tyler to sway his hips and wiggle his ass at Josh. Returning to the bed, Tyler moved to between Josh’s legs - Josh had sat up on the edge of the bed. Leaning down to kiss Josh, Tyler carelessly threw the condoms on the bed and tangled his hands in Josh’s hair, clambering so that he was straddling Josh and they were grinding against each other.

And then the inevitable heat death of the universe arrived. Everyone died in the Rapture. The End. 

And Josh died a virgin.

RIP.


End file.
